When to let go

Letting go and moving on.

Recently, I’ve been thinking of ending a friendship with someone close to me.

I ask myself, why do relationships end?

1. People change and move on. The two of you don’t have the same things in common anymore and have grown apart.

2. A geographical move by one or both of you.

3. One gets married and has children, the other stays single. Often, the single friend feels the married friend doesn’t have time for them anymore.

4. One friend is involved in something that the other finds morally objectionable, such as drug and alcohol use or dishonesty.

5. You feel you cannot count on your friend to be reliable, and follow through with promises.

6. You find you are putting more work into the friendship than the other person is, resulting in resentments and hurt feelings.

7. One friend borrows money or other items and never pays the other one back.

8. Jealousy will do it every time. One friend is more successful than the other, or one friend starts a new romantic relationship.

9. One friend makes insensitive comments or is overly critical of the other, or gives unsolicited advice.

Overall, when the quality of the friendship outweighs the perceived faults, then hang on to the friendship. But, if the friendship involves more pain and frustration than connection and joy, then it is probably time to say goodbye. Ending friendships when necessary protects your health and well-being.

 

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